gonnawreckit | Appointments

[Lately, Oswald's been getting restless. A kind of restlessness that increased after he found his old remote. It took him a few more weeks to pinpoint the exact cause, but then he finally had a moment of clarity. An epiphany, if you will. Normally, this would be something to bring up to the S.O.S. Brigade or perhaps even the general populace, but he'd rather have a professional on the job.]

Hey uh... Ralph? Ruin-Stuff Ralph? You got a minute?

Ozzie? It's Wreck-It Ralph. Get it right. And... Guess I got a minute or so to spare. What's up?

Eh. Wreck-it, Ruin-it... Tomato, potato. [He shrugs in an exaggerated manner.]

I was thinkin'! I'm a hero, you're a villain... We should do a bit.

A bit? What kinda bit we talkin' about here, Longears?

You know! Like a showdown! A dramatic brawl, if you will. You do your thing, I do mine... We'll make a big show out of it so everyone in the village can come watch!

Huh... Yeah, that does sound like a pretty neat idea. I think that one girl might've been thinking of something like that... It will help me to make sure my bad guying doesn't get rusty. But first, I gotta know some more about you, buddy.

["That one girl"...? Well, he decides not to question that one. Oswald brought it up first and that's what matters.]

Sure thing! What d'ya wanna know? Special skills? Heroics I've been up to in my cartoon shorts?

Yeah... stuff like that'll be nice! I gotta know what you can take. After all, I'm used to fighting someone who can come back any time he, uh, game overs. I understand it doesn't work quite that neatly here.

Hey, don't worry about me! I bounce right back from most stuff! [He slams a fist against his chest.] Toons don't die that easily, but I'm pretty prone to visual gags. So if you drop somethin' heavy on me, I'll be flat as a pancake but I can just 'reflate' myself again. Oh, and my limbs come straight off, so feel free to yank off an arm or an ear!

[He pulls off his right arm and holds it up with a grin. The detached limb waves merrily to the camera. Then a realization hits him and the grin is replaced by a somewhat flustered expression.] ...Just don't touch the wings, okay? Those don't come off. ...Well, I mean, they would, but...

[Ralph is... horrified by this.]

Okay, Rip-Me-Apart Rabbit. I am not gonna take you apart. That is just freaking me out. Flattening? I'm oddly okay with. But no, I'm definitely not touching the wings. Too risky. I know they're like your life meter here.

[Like he told that guy with the neck wound once... whose been suspiciously absent...]

You're okay with flattening a person like a grape, but not takin' off an arm? [Weeeird.]

Well, how about tossin' me up into the air real high? Can ya do that? Or maybe hittin' me over the head with something... It depends what our stage is gonna be. I like to work with what we've got.

More like a pancake, I'm thinking. As long as someone's all together, they look relatively okay, y'know?

But yeah, those are all good ideas. I'm good at tossing, good at bopping. Usually I drop bricks... Do you wanna hear my usual scenario? It could help us settle what we can do.

Sure, let's hear it! We can work from there. [He finally screws the arm back onto his body. There's no need to screw it in there in order to attach it, he just feels like it.]

Edited 2012-12-20 17:46 (UTC)

[He blinks, trying not to feel nauseous at the sight of a rabbit screwing his own arm in.]

Right. So... my story. Basically, I start out as a guy living at a stump. I'm not actually in the stump, of course, cause look at the size of me! No, I rest against it. It's my home. But then? These people move the stump over to a junkyard to build this fancy building. So I live in garbage, and my jealousy motivates me to... wreck the building. This is how bad guys are born, Ozzie.

[Forcefully moved to a yunkjard? Jealousy of the ones who came after him and are living the fancy life? Oswald can sympathize so much with this story.]

Bad guys, huh...? Yeah, if you wreck the building, I guess that does make you a bad guy, but the people who moved your stump started it. If they'd built their building somewhere else and left you alone, you wouldn't be wreckin' the thing in the first place. [Though, that's not good story narrative for a video game, is it?]

Maybe. But, well, I can't debate the ethics of it. It's just how the game works, y'know? I'm the bad guy. I, well, most of it's based around wrecking. I excel at climbing and I can smash pretty much every surface down to nothing. Also, bricks. They're part of my gimmick, too. Try to drop those suckers on Felix's head all the time!

Hm... [He puts a hand to his chin, thinking. It's pretty obvious what the stage will be and he can work with bricks. Maybe bend a drainpipe to catch it and send it back towards Ralph, or catch it with his ears. There's just one problem.]

I'd say we use one o' the Community buildings. The one with the elevator'd work best, but if we do this you've gotta keep the wrecking under control. I know the Malnosso'd fix all the damage you do, but I don't think we'll make people happy if their apartments get smashed.

Edited 2012-12-22 14:03 (UTC)

Oh, yeah, I kinda learned that the hard way when I got here. People get real fussy about their homes here, even when they got fix-it walls! But don't worry. I can be careful and hold back. I could always focus on the brick-throwing.

Great! So all you gotta do is climb on top of the Community Buildin' and make a proclamation of villainous intentions, and then I'll appear to save the day! It'll be perfect!

Alright, alright. I can get behind this, Ozzie. I just gotta think of my motive, and then I think everything'll be square.

Perfect! I look forward to workin' with ya, big guy!

Same here, tiny. [Muttered under breath.] Long as you stay in one piece...

Lessee here... [He flips open a little notebook and whips out a pen.] 31st of December good for you? It'd be great to end the year with a show like this, but if you need more time to prepare, we can schedule for later.

No, no, that'll be fine. My schedule's pretty open. Yeah, I think we can make this happen.

[This is a catchall for all leftover threads from the reunion log! And also open for anyone else wanting a thread on that day.

His top level for reference; including a link to the continuing thread would be helpful.]

Edited 2014-12-06 18:19 (UTC)

[Continued from here!]
---

Hahahaa! Nice dancing, Big Guy! [Totally worth the whack she's probably gonna get any minute, definitely.]

Uh-huh... Let's see your moves now, 'Madam'! [And he pounds the ground with a fist, specifically to shake up the ground beneath Norma's feet.]

[There will be no dancing here today. Instead, the minor tremor causes Norma to wobble on her feet and buckle under the vibrations of the earth.

In layman's terms, she falls on her ass.]

Wh--aaaahhh! Jeez!!

[Well, that happens. And Ralph guffaws.]

As graceful as ever, I see... [But at least he extends an oversized finger as a lifeline.]

[Huffing, Norma takes the offered appendage and allows herself to be lifted up. She gives Ralph a sour look, dusting snow off her behind.]

Yeah, yeah...let's just find you something to wear already. Though I dunno if this place's got a circus tent that's big enough.

[And Ralph gives his best poker face, shrugging before he goes to squeeze through the door of the clothing shop.]

Hey, if they carry things that can fit around your head, I bet they'll have something in my size too.

[The fakest of laughs is uttered from Norma just a brief second after Ralph finishes speaking, and she reigns in the temptation to actually set his feet on fire - better not do that indoors or she might cause a real ruckus. And possibly some destroyed buildings...]

Oooh, just be quiet and try not to knock anything over! Jeez, forget the clothes, we just need a building big enough to fit you. [Brb, she's going to go look for some warm, dry things to wear herself. Hopefully you're a big boy and can shop on your own.]

Hey! I'm doing just fine! [He says before he bumps his head on the ceiling.] Ow! [Then he grumbles and seeks out his clothes. They're hard to miss...]

Were. [Yeah, she heard and saw you knock your head on the ceiling there, Ralph. Luckily for you, Norma's exasperation outweighs her love of other peoples' misery, so she just shakes her head and wanders through the racks of clothes.]

((Continué d'ici.))

I guess. [He scratches the back of his head.] Much... seems to have changed. And you... y-you were gone before I was... I think...

Eh, still seems to be the same dinky town as I remember. [He waves a hand casually.]

Was I? Great, now I can't remember!

[Emil is used to seeing strange things happening in town after being around Luceti as long as he has. It takes a lot to surprise him... or so he thinks.

A giant half-naked man suddenly standing up out of the fountain, however, appears to be one of those things capable of surprising him, and he nearly drops his bag of groceries with a startled yelp as he backs away.]

Whoa!

[It's a moment of dumbfounded staring more before he realizes that this man looks more than a little familiar...]

... Ralph? Is that you?

[He sighs with a shrug of his heavy shoulders.]

Who did you expect, Lara Croft? Of course it's me! [He rolls his eyes and then looks down at the person, trying to place him.]

You're, uh... whatsit... Email, right?

Lara who?

[Wait, Ralph, don't answer that, you'll just make things even more complicated.

Good thing that the next line out of Ralph's mouth does an excellent job of distracting Emil from that particular subject.]

Um, it's Emil, but I guess that's close enough...

[There's a brief pause as it clicks in his mind.]

Wait, you remember me?

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