gonnawreckit | 100m: I'm gonna wreck it! [Action]

[Action (1)]

[This nine-foot tall, barefoot giant of a man finds himself waking up in any old house or apartment, maybe even in the forest. Completely oblivious to the pink wings on his back for now, he instead comes to attention and begins looking around in confusion.]

What? Where's... No! I can't have been taken to another game. I... I was right there! I was gonna save- I... [And his voice goes soft.] Vanellope...

[His eyes are close for a moment, mournfully. When they open, they're filled with hurt anger. And his unusually massive fists are soon put to work... wrecking his immediate surroundings in an angry tantrum, while he shouts loudly. He could keep going until there's nothing left. He will hold himself back from hurting actual people, but he will at least shove aside those who get in his way at emotional heights.]

[Action 2]

[Later on, after being calmed from his tantrum, Ralph trudges through town, defeated and feeling ashamed. First day in a new game and already he's been playing the bad guy. So he makes his way through the item and clothing shops, finding one item in the former which gives him a strong, bittersweet feeling, and then he makes his way out of the village. He only stops at Good Spirits for a round of root beers, trying to keep to himself. That evening, with a sack of bricks over his shoulder, he seeks a nice stump to sleep against, in between bouts of the freezing rain.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

What, really? That sounds really weird, and... kind of impossible. That's like, a whole different world. [Ralph will likely still subscribe to thinking he's just in another game. ...But wondering why all these people were programmed without self-awareness. If anything, programmed to think they're from the "real" world.] You're one of those guys who has to pay mortgage and everything?

"There are no mortgages here, the Malnosso provided the buildings free of charge. I suppose they felt that charging rent in addition to holding us prisoner was a bit too sadistic. In my original home, I was a member of the Jedi Order, and they paid for my lodgings when necessary, as the Jedi do not traditionally own property."

Jedi Order? Sounds like something out of some kind of fantasy game. [This is him trying to being polite, really.] Sounds pretty cushy, though. You guys good or bad?

Pretty nice that there isn't money here. Only a few games actually have money systems at... where I'm from. Medals are the only things with real value.

"You could say we are. And... I suppose you would say we were 'good guys,' yes. We protected the galaxy from attack and attempted to prevent wars.

I'm not certain we have anything analogous to medals, however. We have no currency of any kind. We mostly operate on the honor system- take only our own property and the food we need. Most do work only as a hobby or out of a desire to be helpful."

[Obi-Wan stops outside of the clothing store.]

"Here you are. Your clothing should be inside."

Edited 2012-11-16 00:13 (UTC)

Well that's good for you! Real... real noble of you. Doing all that hard work, without even any medals? That's good even for good guys!

[He peers at it.]

So it is. Should I just... go in myself?

"Certainly. You won't be charged for anything, as I said. I'll wait here."

[He chuckles.]

"Somehow I suspect you'll be able to find your clothing fairly quickly."

[How many outfits could there be in there to fit a guy that size?]

If you say so. Uh... Thanks, Obi.

[So he enters the store and comes out a few minutes later in his finest, the poorly put together overalls and shirt.]

So! What do you think? Old Ham Hands back in his glory!

[Interesting nickname.]

"It certainly is a distinctive ensemble."

[He decides not to comment on the missing suspender strap. Somebody in the village could repair that, surely.]

"Now, then, the Battledome is just this way, if you'll follow me..."

[And with that, he resumes his rather brief tour.]

Edited 2012-11-19 13:56 (UTC)

Thanks, I think.

Alright, Obi, lead the way. [And he casually walks along.] Do you do this tour guide thing a lot? Is that your role here? [Textbook NPC. ~~Suddenly remembers that RPG event~~]

~~[That event was unseasonably cool lately.]~~

"Not specifically... we try to help newcomers where we can, of course. I'm hardly the only one. This is a friendly village."

[After a beat, he glances over his shoulder and adds,]

"Besides, I would rather you not destroy my furniture, or I shall have nothing to sit on."

Sure, I bet this is all one big old Niceland.

But, heh... yeah, that was my mistake. I'm used to always having someone around to fix my messes.

"Well, fortunately I caught you before the damage got too severe, so no harm done."

[Finally, they approach the large circular structure of the Battle Dome, and Obi-Wan holds the door for Ralph before following him inside.]

"I suspect you'll be rather comfortable here, actually. The simulators can recreate a broad variety of scenarios not unlike a video game. However, if you simply seek mass property damage, I believe I have a good simulation for you to start with."

Huh.

[He looks around as they enter, fairly impressed. The interior almost reminds him of Game Central Station. This really is a weird game he's found himself in.]

This sounds like a dream come true, Obi. Thanks a load. I'll just have to figure out the controls... I'm kind of used to being the one on the other side of the controls. [A nervous laugh.]

"Well, programming new scenarios takes a bit of skill, but fortunately, accessing the ones that have already been programmed are very simple."

[With that, he heads to the nearest chamber and fetches a scenario he programmed himself, some time ago- mostly as programming practice- and then opens the door. A replica of the Undercity of Coruscant lies inside, empty save for a few wandering droids programmed on a semi-randomized circuit in and out of the street.]

"The simulation can be recreated as necessary. In short, feel free to inflict as much property damage as you like. The simulation is quite realistic."

[He grins as he readies his gigantic fists.]

I can see! Very high definition. I'm going to enjoy taking it apart. Thanks again, Obi. You've been a big help.

"It's no trouble at all. If you need any more assistance, I'm usually available and fairly easy to track down, and I'd be happy to help."

[And with that, he leaves Ralph to his wrecking.]

100m: I'm gonna wreck it! [Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

Re: [Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]