300m [Voice]

[gonnawreckit]

Hey. Um, Luceti guys. I need to talk to all about something. I don't know exactly how to start off, but... You know what? I'll just get out with it.

What's the deal with kids around here? I don't want anything to do with 'em, but at the rate they wind up trying to "be my friend", I'll wind up with a gaggle of 'em following me everywhere in no time! I don't get it. I try being nice. I try being mean. Nothing works in keeping 'em away from me! I'm not fit to do that much babysitting. I'm a bad guy for crying out loud!

I mean... okay, I'm not bad most of the time, and there is one kid I'm kinda lookin' out for. But that's it! That's where I want it to stop. Just one kid! That's my limit. I don't need any more of a headache from the rest of these little gremlins running around when there's a village full of responsible adults and oddly enough teenagers who should be able to handle them much better than me. So what is it? What's the secret, to getting brats to stay away from me?

[He really could care less about the lack of a filter.

And okay maybe you find him browsing the item shop for familiar items from video games, or going to watch Vanellope race at the Battle Dome.]

Comments

voice;

[gonnawreckit]

Well I'm programmed to be a bad guy, y'know. Even when I'm off-duty, like my whole time here, I don't think I'm exactly role model material.

[Written]

[gonnawreckit]

Some help you are, buddy.

[Voice]

[gonnawreckit]

They're weird little candy munchers alright. They just gotta learn what's good for them.

[gonnawreckit]

I don't gotta rephrase anything! Kids're just better off sticking with people who won't let 'em down, that's all!

voice

[gonnawreckit]

Don't mean I'm not not a good person either.

[voice]

[gonnawreckit]

Yeah, yeah. They should still know better than going around trusting weirdos.

[gonnawreckit]

If they're programmed to grow up, that is! Otherwise they're stuck as rotten cavity collectors forever.

[Voice]

[gonnawreckit]

Right, I heard something about that. Real annoying. These Malnosso guys, they don't even know how to do kidnappings right! You're supposed to let heroes outwit you and rescue whoever you kidnap, without any of this weird messing with their code or whatnot.

[Written]

[complicatedliar]

If there were some magical recipe for controlling the perceptions of others [...well, you know, other than mind control but we're so not going there] I'd be sure to tell you.

[voice]

[reminded]

The archaeology type, to be precise. Strange... Most professors I know aren't mad scientists.

[doubleppk]

What are you talking about? Of course they grow up. Just slowly. Or unless they time travel.

[Voice]

[kingofwaste]

They'll have learned all about that when they're adults. 'Till then, it's up to the actual adults to teach 'm.

[acuity]

I wonder if you'll ever catch on to how ill-mannered you are, but I doubt it!

[ hanging up brattishly, that'll show him!! >:T ]

[voice]

[godbent]

What, you're a weirdo?

[spohkh]

Mister Ralph... You fear letting the children down?

How? What has happened?

voice;

[ahappylie]

Pro...gram...med....? [Yeah, what is technology. Even now he doesn't really understand it all since he doesn't have to.]

History says I'm a bad guy, too. But I don't really feel all that bad. Unless, you do feel bad. Then I suppose it isn't an issue.

[Voice]

[knightofratatosk]

Messing with their... code? What's that?

[sugarglitch]

I know, I know. [Rolling her eyes.] Sor-ry. I won't crash the kart next time.

[gonnawreckit]

Sure you won't. [And with some grumbling concern.] I mean, maybe it'd help if you had someone over your shoulder for just one race...

voice;

[gonnawreckit]

You heard me, bub. You know, with codes and all.

You don't look all that bad, either. If you asked me, you've got "annoying protagonist" written all over you. Or maybe "annoyingly cheery sidekick". What's the worst you could even do, Bathrobe?

[gonnawreckit]

Joke's on you, kid, I know full-well how badly-mannered I am! Sheesh... that's why you brats are better off away from me. [He's annoyed that she hung up without hearing his last words... so he settles for scribbling a mustache on her icon. Yeah, that'll show that 13 year old!]

[voice]

[gonnawreckit]

One of those cave jumpers, huh? I hear that's pretty exciting. The guy from Pitfall always raves about it. [To other people. Whenever he eavesdrops at Tapper's.] But, huh... not many mad scientists, huh? Then what kinds of bad guys do you have?

[voice]

[gonnawreckit]

I guess? I'm not exactly normal. I mean, most of my life I've used bricks as a blanket. It's something I've had to come to terms with. And of course, being a bad guy and all.

[gonnawreckit]

Or, you know, they're just programmed to stay at the same age. How're you supposed to maintain a video game if the characters actually age? Kinda lame if you ask me.

[Voice]

[gonnawreckit]

Well those actual adults can have a ball teaching 'em that. While I keep on keeping my distance.