gonnawreckit | 300m [Voice]

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300m [Voice]

Hey. Um, Luceti guys. I need to talk to all about something. I don't know exactly how to start off, but... You know what? I'll just get out with it.

What's the deal with kids around here? I don't want anything to do with 'em, but at the rate they wind up trying to "be my friend", I'll wind up with a gaggle of 'em following me everywhere in no time! I don't get it. I try being nice. I try being mean. Nothing works in keeping 'em away from me! I'm not fit to do that much babysitting. I'm a bad guy for crying out loud!

I mean... okay, I'm not bad most of the time, and there is one kid I'm kinda lookin' out for. But that's it! That's where I want it to stop. Just one kid! That's my limit. I don't need any more of a headache from the rest of these little gremlins running around when there's a village full of responsible adults and oddly enough teenagers who should be able to handle them much better than me. So what is it? What's the secret, to getting brats to stay away from me?

[He really could care less about the lack of a filter.

And okay maybe you find him browsing the item shop for familiar items from video games, or going to watch Vanellope race at the Battle Dome.]

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[...lmao this is hilarious. Souji is totes into trolling this guy now, oops]

Mm~ Maybe if you gave them candy, they'd leave you alone for awhile?

They get along rather well with me too.

[Oswald listens with Ralph's rambling with a thoughtful expression.]

So what you're sayin' is that you're gettin' a lot of pushy fans, but as a bad guy, you're not supposed to get along with 'm. So you do your thing and act like a jerk, but that just makes them like you even more?

[A certain someone's racing at the battle dome! She's done this course before - she's just trying to beat her high score by driving at increasingly fast speeds and taking sharper, dangerous curves. Being from a racing game is neat stuff, she never really has to worry about health meters or extra lives!]

Why do you experience such contrary emotions towards children?

Hey, kids aren't that bad, Ralph.

[What'd he mean bad guy though?]

You don't seem like much of a bad guy in my opinion.

How rude! Thinking of children like myself as gremlins or brats... I can't understand why any would tolerate an attitude like yours.

[ <-- BRAT!! ]

Ha ha, that's quite the predicament. I've found that nothing dampens a child's enthusiasm more thoroughly than an old-fashioned lecture.

Why don't you just try swatting the pests away? That usually works for me.

I am sorry if they make you uncomfortable, but you are a very kind and supportive person. It is nice to be around someone who is so determined to cheer you on.

But... I don't see you as a bad guy. [Don't call yourself that! You're nice Ralph.]

You can count how many kids there are here on two hands, how's that even matter?

Tell me about. Kids are such a pain, and they always just seem drawn to the kind that don't want them around. It's like they can smell it.

What's wrong with kids?

[BIG, FAKE POUT.]

Hehe. I keep telling you! You're really a nice guy. It's no wonder a lot of kids like you! [ Giggling. ]

Killing off a few might help.

[He's totally joking. Totally. Is he? This deadpan face is hard to read and he knows it.]

Are there really that many little kids around here? I can only think of a few myself...

[Sabriel's only come back to herself today so she's been spending a little time on the journals catching up with what she's missed when she comes across Ralph's entry. It takes a moment for her to place a name and face to the voice but when she doesn't she can't help but feel a little flustered and guilty. Oh dear...did she really push him that far out of his comfort zone? She doesn't know what that whole 'bad guy' talk is about but at least she can apologize for it.]

I'm sorry if I imposed on you before Ralph, I never meant to be a burden to you.

[God can sympathize with this guy a bit, except he doesn't want any kids to look after]

If there was a secret to keeping those annoying brats [read: Yotsuba] away, I'd be one short by now. You best get used to those headaches.

[It's hard to say Czes is much of a kid when you get to know him and understand he's like a grumpy old man and 200+ years old but he can sure as hell put on an act and troll this guy]

Gee, Mister, that isn't very nice! What do you have against kids?

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