300m [Voice]

[gonnawreckit]

Hey. Um, Luceti guys. I need to talk to all about something. I don't know exactly how to start off, but... You know what? I'll just get out with it.

What's the deal with kids around here? I don't want anything to do with 'em, but at the rate they wind up trying to "be my friend", I'll wind up with a gaggle of 'em following me everywhere in no time! I don't get it. I try being nice. I try being mean. Nothing works in keeping 'em away from me! I'm not fit to do that much babysitting. I'm a bad guy for crying out loud!

I mean... okay, I'm not bad most of the time, and there is one kid I'm kinda lookin' out for. But that's it! That's where I want it to stop. Just one kid! That's my limit. I don't need any more of a headache from the rest of these little gremlins running around when there's a village full of responsible adults and oddly enough teenagers who should be able to handle them much better than me. So what is it? What's the secret, to getting brats to stay away from me?

[He really could care less about the lack of a filter.

And okay maybe you find him browsing the item shop for familiar items from video games, or going to watch Vanellope race at the Battle Dome.]

Comments

[gonnawreckit]

[And Ralph is there, quietly cheering her on... but fretting over the riskier maneuvers.]

[sugarglitch]

[Sure enough, Vanellope overestimates herself at a particularly sharp curve - and her kart goes swerving right in the direction of a peppermint tree.]

Woah!

[gonnawreckit]

[That looks... too close. Ralph storms straight into the sim and towards the crash point to do what he can to help!

If she hasn't crashed yet by the time he's close enough? He'll be punching that pepper mint tree out of its roots.]

[sugarglitch]

[Nope, definitely crashing at the rate she was going.

Thankfully, Sugar Rush was an E for Everyone racing game! So the SFX at worst was made of a cloud of (sparkling, glittering) smoke, and bits of candy tree falling onto her kart from the impact of the crash.

And when the smoke clears, Vanellope is in the driver's seat, shaking her head, kind of dazed.]

Whew! Haven't had a crash that bad in a while! [... She sounds impressed at herself.]

[gonnawreckit]

[Ralph still looks on worried.]

Yeah, well ya better drive more carefully, kid!

[sugarglitch]

[Rolling her eyes.]

Where's the fun in that?

[gonnawreckit]

The simple, painless kind?

[sugarglitch]

More like the slow and boring kind! Life's totally better in the fast lane!

[gonnawreckit]

You're just letting all your extra frames of animation get to your head. In my game, kids always had fun spending an hour just getting up one flight of my game!

[sugarglitch]

Yeah, but your game's older than dirt balls, Stinkbrain. [She glitches right out of the driver's seat, brushing off pixie stix dust from her hoodie.] Times are changing and stuff!

[gonnawreckit]

[Ralph sighs and wipes at his face with one hand, while leaning on her kart with the other.]

Yeah, changing into self-destruction! I didn't get you this thing so you could try to narrowly dodge game overs all the time.

[sugarglitch]

You say that like I game over all the time! [She crosses her arms.]

[gonnawreckit]

You sure as heck come close enough, sugar-for-brains! I'm just tryin' to look out for you.

[sugarglitch]

I know, I know. [Rolling her eyes.] Sor-ry. I won't crash the kart next time.

[gonnawreckit]

Sure you won't. [And with some grumbling concern.] I mean, maybe it'd help if you had someone over your shoulder for just one race...

[sugarglitch]

What, no way! I don't need no backseat driver! That's just gonna mess up my game!

[gonnawreckit]

Really? And here I thought I was talkin' to a real champion. Y'know, the kind who'd still win even with a little extra weight...